Family and Friends

Yesterday morning I received a call from Scott, I thought it was our routine call but unfortunately it was to share that Great Grandpa Schuler "Smokey" passed away. Grandpa was very ill and during this time was well cared for by LaLa (Jan, e's LaLa, Scott's Mom) and family. Hospice called in the family Wednesday night to say their good byes.

I took off work and took e out of school today to attend the ceremonies. After discussing with Scott what we thought was best for e, we decided on me taking him later in the day to be with family. We made it for the last part of the visitation and the burial. For e to have been there all day would have been too much. But the joy of having him around for a short period of time, we thought would be a welcomed distraction.

LaLa did take him up to see Grandpa sleeping and to admire the beautiful flowers. It was nice to visit with everyone again. I've felt blessed that the separation between Scott and I didn't dissolve my relationship with e's family. I love my visits with e out to LaLa and Pop's house and they'll feel differently not being able to go downstairs and give love to Grandpa.

Scott and I talked about what to tell a two year old at a time of loss. We thought to keep it simple would be best. Saying nothing further than he was sleeping and that it would be a family day. When it was time to close the casket I made sure to take him out of the room so that he didn't get confused. When it was time to walk to the burial I didn't want him to make the connection of that being Grandpa. One day we can share with him that he was there to say good bye.

I wanted to be sensitive to Scott having time with his boy and family. I took spurts backing off of visiting and immediate family time. I felt welcome but made the choice to be courteous to all who were there. At times I would take e away from the service to get the wiggles out. We would stand from afar admiring family and friends. e would smile as I would say "is that your family e"? He would grin saying yes and then separately call out individuals to tell me "that is my friend, Mommy", "that is my family, Mommy".

I've noticed every time I travel with e how wonderfully comfortable he is around family, those he has seen once or twice or might have never met. He smiles with such pride just as you should looking at a room of first, second, third, fourth generations. I was filled with humble pride when I heard e's name called last in a line up of those who Vernon W. "Smokey" Schuler is survived by. No matter what happened between e's father and I, we created an amazing little boy who continues a blood line...pretty special. We are blessed.

My prayers are with our family and friends.

Love you Great Grandpa Schuler.